It’s no wonder men want to be the dominant bosses most of the time, so that way women won’t screw them over like my husband, for example. I am often guilt tripped into starting a relationship or having physical contact with a man which devastates me, especially when the man tells me I am an awful human being for rejecting them when I am terrified out of my mind to the point of breaking down. I gained confidence to try a relationship when I turned 18 at the peak of my senior year. My parents were arranged and they always end up arguing with each other, and I used to be alone. Don’t worry. I wish for us to be friends, and just that… but… i cant help it, and i fear it’ll get serious. I’m told they’re not all like that. Emotional attachment seems out of this world to me. I do understand your desire to avoid sex. There are days that I so want to give up and just do myself in. Growing up, I was bullied for having emotions, being a nerd who adored learning, and having a boy for a best friend. At one time, agoraphobia meant fear of markets or “market fear,” since the word “agora” in ancient Greek means “market.” Now the word has a wider meaning, and simply means fear of being around a lot of people. These can be terrible since the sufferer often feels dizzy, or feels like running away, crying, shaking or sweating profusely or even feels as if s/he is fainting. I have philophobia, badly. I just had my life crushed because she chose not to ever reveal who she really was. I meet up with him and told him that i can’t be with him so i’m ending the relationship, i’m better off alone. I cant believe what I have become now.. I read all these comments and I compare them to my literal reason. And he was only 5 when my mother passed (she was the apple of his eye and vice versa). Last medically reviewed on November 2, 2017. I do not, however, push friends and family away as there is no sexual attachment possible with any of them that I have, but if anyone has any information that could help me with the phobia then I would be very grateful. I don’t know who you are but only what you have written here. I’ve tried 10 gals, non lasted for more than 3 weeks. It is completely possible for any man to get angry enough to do something as horrible as that, statistically and theoretically. You need time to learn to love life again, and hobbies are a small, easy way to start with that. It’s like, when I meet new people (which is really rare) I tend to keep them at a certain distance.. but when it becomes too much, push comes to shove, and I can’t handle it anymore. There would come a point that I would begin to turn on the man and act like a ‘bitch’ so he would get the message as I had become so desperate to feel safer and to stop feeling terrified. I broke up with my recent boyfriend and well I still loved him. The phobia is so intense that it interferes with your life. What-if scenarios can also be helpful. Don't face mental health challenges alone. I had a woman once that wanted to call the police on me when all I said to her was good morning, and being a single man myself I would love to meet a good woman to spend the rest of my life with. The result? I too wanna feel love, but So far, I am single (24yrs) and its not intentional. It might cost you much effort and patience, a true test of your love. I dont even have secrets! They are both happy and successful college graduates. Trust me when i say, there will be plenty of times your heart will get broken dear and plenty of times others will have their heart broken by you but this is okay this is life that’s just how it goes (maybe that won’t happen I don’t know you personally lol) just be YOU, live happy, take one day at a time and you’ll see why I’m saying what I’m saying. Part of philophobia comes from sexism and misogyny. Then the more I think when am I going to be thrown away or that they deserve someone else. Because of my culture. It all starts with YOU. And when men end up with a woman, they abuse her to make sure she isn’t bad. you can say: "Thank you fear. I hardly get attached to any woman because I’ve lost that part of me that will do anything to keep my woman happy. I didn’t get my heart broken until I mistakenly broke a guys heart because of the fear. In 5th grade a girl said she hated me, I was ugly, and no girl would ever like me. If there is anybody who has a positive solution for this then please help me out. Be yourself and you DESERVE a great partner. But then he started messaging me saying that he was sorry for everything and that he still had feelings for me and that he wasn’t going out with my friend and like an idiot I fell again. I never could know if any relationship even would work with people who I would find attractive. Btw: Despite it being with me for several years, I keep hoping I’d grow out of it before I graduate high school. I do have a fear of liking someone and them not feeling the same way, everyone has started to notice how I eventually shut everyone out, I let them get close to a certain point then it’s like I just push them back like they’re too close. We have 7 kids but I seriously want to run away, not from the kids or because of the kids but because I’m not in love anymore and if I leave it will crush him. Don’t give me any of the “Not All Men” crap— simply look at every headline and every piece of news that involves a woman being killed from refusing to engage in sex with a male romantic partner, domestic abuse, sexual assault and rape, and from women breaking up with their boyfriends or fiancés. She said I was a terrible husband even though I made 6 figures (she didn’t work), did all the housework and yardwork, ran all the errands, and took care of the kids when I was home. He thinks that I cheated him. When You Love Someone With Commitment Phobia, It Seems Like They Will Never Change. Show him how could it be, if your situation would be different and how it would be when everything would be the same just without that fear. In college there were many nice women, but I had no social skills and therefore no confidence. The old one – Jay (not his real name) he asked me if i was serious and i didn’t know what to answer, nervous and scared not knowing i told him no which disappointed him. That’s the reason for the fights that occurred in my house and I was frustrated about it. I am only 20 and I am here currently battling this Phobia and I’m wondering now if I even want to anymore. All the comments here really touch me emotionally because I can sympathize with these feelings. Got all too long, well thanks for reading. So yeah, I’m a sad human being and maybe, just maybe, someone can relate. You don’t see that you have an abnormal psychology but others who are happy in their lives see it. But if I feel any feelers after it, I will not see the man again. I was so in love with a man for the past 5 years and committed myself to him fully only to have my heart shattered. Eventually he found out, but he acted as if he didn’t know. I too want a significant other in my life but, there is a constant feeling that says- I am not worthy enough/ I will get rejected anyways, so why bother.. . But who will tell them that I was scared. Often the suffering of people concerned by disorders increases with their own feel of shame for themselves and their disability of control. Fear of love wow, i used to have that and i may still do. Please go check it out, it’s on Youtube. I’m 13 and I’m in 7th grade (held back) and I was falling in love/like my friend. There are also people who like to think this phobia says something about modern society, but the truth is that it seems to have always been around. At first I thought it was because I wasn’t ready to disvirgin that’s why they left, but guys keep leaving me for one reason or the other, so we’re just friends to make out with, but presently I am in a serious relationship with a guy. We have mutual feelings but there’s something going on in my heart. Most importantly, you will be afraid— that is fine, that is normal, but don’t let it hold you back. Because when people read your post they think its true. I was 29 before I had my first boyfriend and we lived together for 15 years until he unfortunately died 3,5 years ago. Every time I hear things about romance or love it just sounds repulsive and disgusting to me. Confessed that he would go away and distanced myself when at the same traits as other specific phobias, to... 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